silVer liNiNg in eVeRy cLoud?

added a brand new soNg i heaRd over the waVes few days baCk just lately,
has a shatteriNg fRustratiNg note to it, and its helpiNg me scReaM my feelINgs that have been kept pent up in myself for weeks now
thats a gReat feeliNg haviNg it released w/out causing chaos at hoMe ( pHews..)

i was stariNg into emptyness when somethiNg shiny that lOOks like a neat buNdle oF shimmeRing tHread caught my eyes. like fine woven silver droplets, reflecting every ray of sunlight. lil rainbows. make beliefs. illusion. mirage. i am seeing and conjuring all this behind my wateRy eyes.

i looked intently at it. closer. nearer, and finally CLeaRer.
yes. this was the precious gift i had once lost few montHs back
a gift from someone dear

i found it back again
afteR loOKing woRRiedly every nook and cranny of the house for 2wholeweeks
once a friend told me, "What's lost is meant to be lost"
but, i did not give up hope
i know with a feeling in my heart that if i keep on searching i will find it,

yes i did!
in the most unexpected place (bliMey!)
from that day onwards
i kept it safely, i wear it as frequent as i could
and won't it out of my sight
for fear of losing it again

this tiny trinket has been a constant reminder to me since its lost(and found.. )
and the lost of the person who gave it to me
i know i believe coincidence too much to give it a 2nd thought
but coincidences which happens twice cant be merely just coincidence..

4 years ago, i lost an object
an object which signifies a 3-year relationship of trust, faith, love and friendship
as ironically as it sounds, the relationship went down into the black murky waters,
as the bracelet had, when i was riNsing charcoal residue off my hands
i believe it was a bad omen, like a warniNg something isnt goINg as right as it was expected to be.

toDay i hold my 2nd bracelet, letting it frolick in my palm like drops of molten metal
and i am thaNkful i havent seen a pool of darkness surrounding it,
or even trying to taRnisH its brilliance, its purity and hope that it briNgs to me
puts back faith in believing,

but believiNg ....

what is believing the impossible ?

does believing in it makes it reachable?

does believing makes it real ..?

does believing make it possible?

today i stand where i am now
thaNkful for whatever that had been or had happened
regardless of how bad/good things may have turned out
for as much as our own decisions deteRmines iN creatINg the sharpest of turns or the smoothest of journeys
we have to face tHe consequences that lies in waiting for us
as each different route leads to yet another destination
unluckily this time we got lost
loSt looking for the "destination"
existiNg only in our own minds, but not on the maps
have we been in the daydream too loNg,
only to be awoken by the nightmare than shook us hard and mercilessly?
have we been blind all this while
or are they as real as we want them to be
before that foot-thick monster started making itself (un)comfortably cushioned in between tHe minute iNch-tHick gap that oNce exist.

life is precious
like a thin line of silver thread
it could snap into two
and be gone forever
i am grateful he's still here, not as who he used to be
but as a friend
i am grateful he is still alive
breathing the same air i breathe, treading on the same ground i walk on
doing the things that make him and people around him proud and happy,
and making differences in people's lives ( mine very much included)
and improving day by day to be a better person,
not for what he is not,
but by remaining the same person he oways was,
succeediNg in everythiNg he does and deserving the happiness he's seekiNg foR,
i believe he will ..


________________________________________________

i dread writing the end of an entry
for it keeps getting back to me that i might have missed out something important...

..

i'll keep that safe in my memorybox for another day's entry
but thats all foR now

(( xoxoxo ))