stRiKe!!!!

fOOood!!
yummies!!

we (me and Dee) shared a spaghetthi carbonara at zUUp! for luNch toDay.

yuMMies!! niCe! finger-licking delicious

received the feedback from module leader this mornIng, it wasnt very good. hMms. i definitely have to work even harder in the following stage! ganbatei to myself, i want to do better the next time.

watched the our frens play bowling when we got back from shopping! how dare they start a game at 1-20 when we actually have class at 2! the 4 goofs (and goons) performed well- lah, we had a good laugh watching them make a fool out of themselves! :>

rushed back just in time for class, thinking we are late but it turns out the lecturer was even later! she must have known us too well *winks* lol!

buMped into junwey toDay at the library after lecture, he's all decked in red like X*Mas, with a red nose and fake moose hoRns then he'd be Rudolph (as in the red-nose moose!!) hahaa! he had a hairstyle that looked as if he jumped out of bed in a haste pulled on a red-shirt and comes to col still sleepy-eyed, 'cept its already eveniNg so all traces of sleepy eye gone edi. haha!

its half past 9 nOw! this is all for toDay, wanna get glued to my teev.

.....

nites!

yuPPiedo!!!

not a good start, was in the bathroom since morning, head bent over my tummy wondering when that excruciating pain gonna go die and leave me (alive and breathing). although it was a cool morning i do not know why i am sweating but looking white. my eyes are teary. i hate it when aunty comes visit. i shall lock my door the nexttime.. :P

not very good in the afternoon too, not by the look of stormy grey clouds gathering in the sky, and after a short wait they decided to pour (like REAL haRd) they blew and blew and spatter sprays of rain and clog up drains and make the ldp look like a shallow but fast stream.

finished my presentation sheets finally, yUPPIedo! i meant to go sleep like a piggy for 12 hours staright but somehow i didn't, although the temperature cool and ideal for pigging and it would be nice after a few days to finally be able to curl in my warm cocoon, tempting huh, but NO! ended up here with an entry not going really anywhere, not makiNg really a point or making any difference. :P i hope that is not where my dissertation is going ;> which is why i have to take the available time now to check through the draft i gave to Leong on mOnday and get sumthing improVed froM there. he seemed so sure i could do it , where else i still feel like although i ve been in it so long, it doesnt seem to get me to the point of understanding it better, but the more i sink into it the more questions i ask and the bigger my headache gets, becos i havent found the answers, and i don't know when i shall.. (being whiny again)

can't wait till thuRs, cos it will be friDay soon,(meeting wen for lunCh and shoPping!) but cant wait for fri to end cos then it will be beginning of Saturday and nearer to Sunday and getting nearer to Tuesday! haha! but after tUesday i want Tuesday to stay there as loNg as pOssIble cos then if tHursday comes then friday shall and i am Back in college again on monday (no play plays oredy)

(there i go whinIng again.. stoP Sue, Stop!!)

its almost dinnertime, and i so want to watch teevee now, wanna get my eyes affixed to the fat cube for once.

wanna take a shower before dinner time cos Laurie told me once that if u do after shower, the u are bound to pile on pounds, (which explains my python-ed state)

____________________________

and for the how-many-ieth time i am listening to Kelly Clarkson's Because of You.......
(when i actually told my sis not to play that song else i will get sick of it)
...

i got a wOozy heaD, sore hand aNd achiNg back, i want my hol!

its only the 1ststage and i am owedyfeeling the tension oredy
for the past 2 days i did not sleep till 5-6 am, and i drag myself out 10-11 the next morning. i seriously have no idea how i am going to live through that continuously for the next 8 months! 'cept for hols, which i am planning to spend most of my hols with frens and myself (recuperating from sleep loss and exhaustion) the remaining time will be spent at home, hopefully peacefully harmoniously with the other members of the family. i want a quiet week off, (and its oNLY a Weeek/???? i want MOORREEE!!!)

haha. doubt i could keep the ambient athome quiet, because i am the main reason the noises came out most of the time. i hoPe i spend the one week decently and appropriately on thiNgs that i plan to do, and distributing theM equally between the days or else i shall go berserk with the remaining days doiNg absolutely nothiNg (which is a good reason why u'd ask me, why are u screamINg ur head off liDat, Sue!!!!) :P

but fiRstly, i waNt toMorrows to end quick! and foR that, i am goiNg to work quick and fast and hopefully the respond would be good. that will make me look fwd for the hols witH sth to smIle about at least :> (apart froM having to get some good rest) sth to feel glad of when i have accomplished sth. :):) i do liKe that feeliNg!!! its the same feeling in the kitchen when i attempt baking after learning and observing mum and when the results are good, u could almost see the chocolate chip cookie smiling at u with all its chips neatly arranged in an :) arch. *wiNks*

i hope i see oNe oR two choccie chip cookie smiling at me toMorrows in the studio..
*griNs* :)

silVer liNiNg in eVeRy cLoud?

added a brand new soNg i heaRd over the waVes few days baCk just lately,
has a shatteriNg fRustratiNg note to it, and its helpiNg me scReaM my feelINgs that have been kept pent up in myself for weeks now
thats a gReat feeliNg haviNg it released w/out causing chaos at hoMe ( pHews..)

i was stariNg into emptyness when somethiNg shiny that lOOks like a neat buNdle oF shimmeRing tHread caught my eyes. like fine woven silver droplets, reflecting every ray of sunlight. lil rainbows. make beliefs. illusion. mirage. i am seeing and conjuring all this behind my wateRy eyes.

i looked intently at it. closer. nearer, and finally CLeaRer.
yes. this was the precious gift i had once lost few montHs back
a gift from someone dear

i found it back again
afteR loOKing woRRiedly every nook and cranny of the house for 2wholeweeks
once a friend told me, "What's lost is meant to be lost"
but, i did not give up hope
i know with a feeling in my heart that if i keep on searching i will find it,

yes i did!
in the most unexpected place (bliMey!)
from that day onwards
i kept it safely, i wear it as frequent as i could
and won't it out of my sight
for fear of losing it again

this tiny trinket has been a constant reminder to me since its lost(and found.. )
and the lost of the person who gave it to me
i know i believe coincidence too much to give it a 2nd thought
but coincidences which happens twice cant be merely just coincidence..

4 years ago, i lost an object
an object which signifies a 3-year relationship of trust, faith, love and friendship
as ironically as it sounds, the relationship went down into the black murky waters,
as the bracelet had, when i was riNsing charcoal residue off my hands
i believe it was a bad omen, like a warniNg something isnt goINg as right as it was expected to be.

toDay i hold my 2nd bracelet, letting it frolick in my palm like drops of molten metal
and i am thaNkful i havent seen a pool of darkness surrounding it,
or even trying to taRnisH its brilliance, its purity and hope that it briNgs to me
puts back faith in believing,

but believiNg ....

what is believing the impossible ?

does believing in it makes it reachable?

does believing makes it real ..?

does believing make it possible?

today i stand where i am now
thaNkful for whatever that had been or had happened
regardless of how bad/good things may have turned out
for as much as our own decisions deteRmines iN creatINg the sharpest of turns or the smoothest of journeys
we have to face tHe consequences that lies in waiting for us
as each different route leads to yet another destination
unluckily this time we got lost
loSt looking for the "destination"
existiNg only in our own minds, but not on the maps
have we been in the daydream too loNg,
only to be awoken by the nightmare than shook us hard and mercilessly?
have we been blind all this while
or are they as real as we want them to be
before that foot-thick monster started making itself (un)comfortably cushioned in between tHe minute iNch-tHick gap that oNce exist.

life is precious
like a thin line of silver thread
it could snap into two
and be gone forever
i am grateful he's still here, not as who he used to be
but as a friend
i am grateful he is still alive
breathing the same air i breathe, treading on the same ground i walk on
doing the things that make him and people around him proud and happy,
and making differences in people's lives ( mine very much included)
and improving day by day to be a better person,
not for what he is not,
but by remaining the same person he oways was,
succeediNg in everythiNg he does and deserving the happiness he's seekiNg foR,
i believe he will ..


________________________________________________

i dread writing the end of an entry
for it keeps getting back to me that i might have missed out something important...

..

i'll keep that safe in my memorybox for another day's entry
but thats all foR now

(( xoxoxo ))