the day i came back to blog.

i logged in my blog a week ago and find my layout incomplete with images as broken links. sObs* how'd that happened while i am away? gRr. will have to stick with a template from blogger's in the meantime. im back the the photography scene, at least for these few weeks. get honed for the bali trip we'd been planning for late sept! and many concurrent events here and there at LDC. sadly i am going to miss the Thousand Light Offering (again) for the 2nd year straight! how dreadful. wish i could convince the exco-s to resched or sth, lols! or even hope the dates in tibetan calendar shuffles (almost too miraculously to be happening, even Buddha cant help much in this!)

i blogged this day, and today and no other day because i want to remember today as the day i was given a reminder. something to keep my head occupied with a difficult decision to make. sumthing that definitely confirms the existence of my doubts and uncertainty.
hearing it from a 3rd party confirms that.
it was in the back of my head all along.
but i needed that lil prodding
that lil.reminder..

the lil.sth that confirmed my fear.
fear of negligence.
fear of being substituted.
fear of being disposed of.
fear of being dismissed.

confirms i need to pull up my socks.

otherwise. confirm neglected. confirm substituted, confirmed disposed and confirmed dismissed. and confirm die.die.