tiReds

i recalled teling someone i was crying while singing when i broke it off with my ex,but couldnt remember which song was it i was singing. well today i remembered,when i was hearing a soNg similar to that one

fUnny how certain songs bring out the emotion that weRe oNce felt , even it occuRed years ago where u are most likely to have forgotten it lIke foRgettiNg a simple thing like what u want to say! :) and how vividly it was pictured, from the saltiness of the tears to the pufFiness of ur eyes and the soUnd of raiN that pOured and beated against the window on a nite, clock reads 9 -30 pm. and a study light was the only tHing that lit the dark interiors of tHe roOm, while i was trying to keep myself from crying only to let out soft sobs accompanying the night rain......

in case u are wondering, it was a sonG by jessica.simpsons :: it all sounds so silly and phony now. the song don mean a thiNg to me now, not the way i use to feel towards the song or the person once upon a time ago. being able to relate to that same feeling : denial,depRessed,cold,neglected doesn't make me the same person i was 4 years ago. i aM merely able to feel/recall it in a new identity,lOoking at it liKe i was lOokiNg at tHe other person. and it does make me smile thinking abt it now despite the bittertears that i cried allover it then. i smiled and laughed at the silly naive little girl who didn't know how to let go off the things that arent wortH keeping. memories that made u who u weRe once_upon_a_time,and the old u who made u who u are today......why.. thats not so bad i guess. all a part of the learning journey.

i still like the song (though memories are stuck fast permanent)
but i guess i like it still because i have faith in how i feel
and i trust i could find that special someone someday,if nottoday or tomorrow :P

and i believe in good things and bad that happen for a reason, regardless of how stuBborn/or a pessimist u aRe at that moment of occurence.

i guess time can only tell ......