raGe crEepiNg undeR my derMis

havent blogGed iN a whiLe ledi thouGh i do keep track what i do in my litTle ovum-isH ikea bOok. bEen agitated and iRritated siNce begInning oF weEk and foUnd no reason(s) to upDaTe 'cept feeliNg mads,which may lead on (unconsciouslY) to soundiing whiny and complain-y,which is sth i do not like abt myselF

had the car to myselF alMost tHe whOle day ,with mum as passenger,(aGaiN!??) :S
(poOr) leftiE ear suFfers tHe most tHe wHoleday,witH mum yelling *gently* into my leftie ear at most turnings and stops making me jolt from seat,trying hard to remain composed relaxed and nonchalant lols

surrendered the car to her after dropPing sis at goays as we left from there onwards foR sg buloH. got lost the 1st round,then rained heavily liKe the first tiMe then it stoPped abruptly theN starts all OVER AGAIN and then made a wrong turnIng again till we got every turning rite (and even figured a new route!! whoopeee!!!) not bad for a 45 minute drive (inclusive of redtrafficlights waits)

torN up my fav project (foundation final project, a childhood windchime) in shReds just now whiLe i was raging. (which i regretted tHe secoNd i did) ,only to realise the damage which cant be undone and sat there for quite a whiLe breaking into a meDdley of short sobs crying over some broken doll like a 4year-old.

got so frus for being ordered to *re - assemble * the attic, wants my works *CLEARED* !!! i got the unnecessary things out and thrown and the usables intact and here they come yammering... * i doN wanna see ur things lyiNg around in the store*!!

then what is the store lying on the attic foR?

foR mice to have theiR latenight parties friskiNg around?

and what!! u want me to CLEAR my works.. which i interprete as *get theM packed and prepared to end in the biN* !!!!!!!!!!!!

disH! it feels like crying rite away!!!!

like they don wanna see a trace of me lying in the attic, which isnt someplace they get by everyday ..so why bother.

sobs

its my first time venting my rage (behind closed doors) in months. noeing if u are heard or seen being emotional makes u feel a whole lot more vulnerable to ppl who mean to see and enjoy what they see because of things humans do but i haVe not a slightest idea why!

enough heat foR today, outdoors indoors,in the unventilated attic, in the car! wants a good rest today and cant wait to see the sunshining tomorrows!

wish me lucK for my fiRstday @woRk!